So...I didn't expect to feel this way. I realized today that this will be the first school year I have not started school since before I was in Kindergarten. Don't get me wrong; I am so glad I get to stay home with my Ellie, but part of me longs to be in the classroom. I became a teacher because I love it. I love the kids, the books, even the schools supplies :-) (Don't let me forget that there are some things I don't love as well) I feel like I learned a lot in my first few years teaching and working in schools. I am afraid I will loose all these skills and have to start back at square one. I just need to keep reminding myself that for everything there is a season, and this is my season to be a mommy. The teacher season will return.
Another thing on my mind is that I have been longing for more church. I have always been so involved in church. I don't think I have ever been less involved that I am now. Since Ellie has been born, I haven't quite found my fit. I always have her with me because of Tyler's work schedule and I am always worried about her being a distraction to other people if I bring her with me. So, my goal is to worry less and do more. I am tired of sitting on the bench of the kingdom, time to get in the game :-)
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Thanks for sharing your feelings. You're completely right about evertyhing having its season. It was interesting to hear reflections from someone on the opposite end of the bench as me (staying home instead of working). I guess no matter what we do, there will always be a bit of sadness realizing we're leaving what we're used to...whether it's something we've done for 5 months or 20 years :-)
As for church...I also understand about being so uninvolved. Although it sounds strange, it's nice to know we feel that way...we know the Holy Spirit is at work in us. Don't worry, you'll find your nitch. But don't be afraid to tell someone where you'd like to get involved! You would be welcomed with open arms!!! In the meantime...I'm not sure what your feelings are on this...but I started leaving Layla in the nursery for the sermon. At first I was a bit nervous just b/c I don't really know Navessa. But I kept hearing nothing but praise about her from other mothers. And that first Sunday I was able to attend Sunday School and the main service w/o Layla I realized how much I had been missing. I thought she was only becoming a distraction to those around us...when she was also a distraction for me.
Did you know that each child is assigned a number and if a parent is needed (for whatever reason) that number is displayed on the screen to let you know?
You know what's best for you and Ellie.
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